Being Quiet When it is Best to Be

Sometimes it's hard to be quiet. My biggest struggle comes when someone who has either all, or almost all, the answers expresses an opinion or attitude that I am convinced isn't right, but he or she accepts contrary opinions like a rattlesnake accepts being poked at with a stick. Often, when the stakes are not high, it seems best to me to just be quiet, to offer a few agreeable sounding noises, and to let it go. Our culture typically sees such a strategy as weakness and spinelessness. But the kind of reaction I am talking about is certainly not that. In fact, the easy thing to do, the weaker thing to do, I think, is to insist on making sure that the one to whom you are speaking gets it right. Set him or her straight. Assert yourself. Don't let them walk all over you. But that is more what I would call spinelessness; anyone in the world can be defensive in this manner. And in the process you may step right away from the more difficult route of being what Jesus calls us to be. Don't get me wrong. Does Jesus want us to be weak, spineless, "yes-Persons," on whom others are always stepping? No. That is not what he modelled. But answering others gently, taking the route of the peacemaker, choosing meekness and humility, sometimes choosing to bite your tongue--these seem to me to be wiser courses of action than what we are naturally prone to choose. Quite simply, the natural way, society's way, is not the way of Jesus. And I get a bit weary of some I know who effort at making me think it is. They should know better. I am not suggesting that one should just avoid conflict; Jesus certainly did not. But there are people I know with whom it is absolutely profitless to argue. They glory so much in trumping your point and trumpeting their own that they often don't even hear your point and what it is they are trumping. They are so convinced of their perspectives that clouding the issue with contrary views instantly creates defensiveness rather than a hearing. In such cases, I think it wise to say very little. Yes, they will probably think that they have won the day. I have watched others turn away from me with smugness because they were convinced that their arguments absolutely silenced me. Instead, I would like to think that it was the Holy Spirit that silenced me. I would like to think that I can be enough open to the Holy Spirit that my pride can be Spiritually quelled into respectful, wisdom-filled silence. Am I perfect at letting this happen? Far from it. Those I love most may read this and wonder who I am trying to kid; or they may wonder about the ghost writer who has usurped my blog. But my weaknesses shouldn't be taken as weakening the position I've stated; what the coach is saying is usually correct, even if his physical limitations never allowed him to implement his own instructions near as well as the talented players he is coaching. He's not wrong, and in this case I don't think I am; I just wish I could do it better.

So, It All Begins; Let's Get to It

Today I will begin to blog, but I am not going to begin with a lengthy explanation about why I blog. I am blogging because it can be a format for discussion. Facebook recently has been fun, and the sharing there has been insightful. I have had some exchanges there about the Bible and Theology, but the format is limited; so this is likely to be better. This week I will be preaching on "Will Our Children Have Faith?" That theme has been on my mind much recently as I reflect on the church and the unnerving statistics about the numbers of our young people that abandon their faith as young adults. It is equally unnerving to hear of young people who are quite committed to Christ, and who in some cases are even in Christian ministry, but who want little or nothing to do with the formalized church, thinking that it is now passe'. My thought process at this point is not so much asking the question, "what must we do about this?" as, "what do they wish to get away from?" "How have we so poorly exemplified Christianity that they are so easily drawn away?" However, I am not much interested in what I consider to be the not-so-discerning answers I often hear about the modifications we need to make in our worship style or the songs we sing, or in the kinds of things we preach or teach--in our theologies. These things play a role, and modifications need to be made, but for me they are not the heart of the matter. Today, I am more interested in praxis and priorities. Perhaps the songs we sing need to be changed, but more important is the spirit with which we worship. Preaching needs to impact more the heart, but the question of whether or not our hearts belong to God, leading to life transformation, is more important than whether or not we are emotionally stirred by a thought-provoking story told on a Sunday morning. How we speak to each other at the supper table, or in an Operations' meeting is more important than what the lesson was in Bible class last week. Time spent laughing at the supper table is more important than time spent at the Board Room table. We need to continue to make strides in Churches of Christ in restoring authentic Christian faith and practice, overcoming the unbiblical sectarianism of the past (and we have made great strides!), but consistently living out some simple Christian truths is even more important. Again, don't get me wrong, modifications in how we do church are in order. But I tend to think that authentically lived Christianity is in every generation more important for our effectiveness in passing on our faith than the somewhat cosmetic changes that reflect generational preferences. Forty years from now claims will be made that our young people are leaving the church for reasons quite similar to the claims made now (antequated worship styles, stale preaching and teaching, irrelevant theology), and these claims will be made about church as it will be conducted by those who are now young (if they hang in there). Retention of the young then will depend on what I see as the most important factor for their retention now-the praxis by the not so young of authentically living before them the priorities of biblical Christianity.