Being Quiet When it is Best to Be

Sometimes it's hard to be quiet. My biggest struggle comes when someone who has either all, or almost all, the answers expresses an opinion or attitude that I am convinced isn't right, but he or she accepts contrary opinions like a rattlesnake accepts being poked at with a stick. Often, when the stakes are not high, it seems best to me to just be quiet, to offer a few agreeable sounding noises, and to let it go. Our culture typically sees such a strategy as weakness and spinelessness. But the kind of reaction I am talking about is certainly not that. In fact, the easy thing to do, the weaker thing to do, I think, is to insist on making sure that the one to whom you are speaking gets it right. Set him or her straight. Assert yourself. Don't let them walk all over you. But that is more what I would call spinelessness; anyone in the world can be defensive in this manner. And in the process you may step right away from the more difficult route of being what Jesus calls us to be. Don't get me wrong. Does Jesus want us to be weak, spineless, "yes-Persons," on whom others are always stepping? No. That is not what he modelled. But answering others gently, taking the route of the peacemaker, choosing meekness and humility, sometimes choosing to bite your tongue--these seem to me to be wiser courses of action than what we are naturally prone to choose. Quite simply, the natural way, society's way, is not the way of Jesus. And I get a bit weary of some I know who effort at making me think it is. They should know better. I am not suggesting that one should just avoid conflict; Jesus certainly did not. But there are people I know with whom it is absolutely profitless to argue. They glory so much in trumping your point and trumpeting their own that they often don't even hear your point and what it is they are trumping. They are so convinced of their perspectives that clouding the issue with contrary views instantly creates defensiveness rather than a hearing. In such cases, I think it wise to say very little. Yes, they will probably think that they have won the day. I have watched others turn away from me with smugness because they were convinced that their arguments absolutely silenced me. Instead, I would like to think that it was the Holy Spirit that silenced me. I would like to think that I can be enough open to the Holy Spirit that my pride can be Spiritually quelled into respectful, wisdom-filled silence. Am I perfect at letting this happen? Far from it. Those I love most may read this and wonder who I am trying to kid; or they may wonder about the ghost writer who has usurped my blog. But my weaknesses shouldn't be taken as weakening the position I've stated; what the coach is saying is usually correct, even if his physical limitations never allowed him to implement his own instructions near as well as the talented players he is coaching. He's not wrong, and in this case I don't think I am; I just wish I could do it better.